You can tell so much about a person’s maturity-levels and intentions by how they hit on you. I have a rule I follow for both personal dates and for assessing potential clients.
If someone only references my appearance when giving compliments then I don’t let it go any further. It doesn’t matter how polite, charming and flattering they are when they express their attraction to my body type, if that is the only part of me they have noticed then… Bo-bawww… No thanks.
It is fine to be attracted to my appearance and to say so but to get past the guardians at my gate, a potential lover has to notice the person inside the body and demonstrate this in some way. Not rocket science and yet disturbingly, so few get this.
Keep in mind that most people approach me online so have access to a detailed dating profile or work website. There is plenty to notice other than/ as well as my body. Even those that approach me in person need to show interest in more than my appearance before I will take any notice.
By applying this same rule to clients, only accepting those that reference something about my philosophy about sex and/or BDSM, or who show self-awareness and a desire to explore themselves, I have ended up with a healthy throng of regulars I feel good about exploring with and a bunch of satisfying one-off bookings too. It is an essential part of my self-care process in a culture that just assumes objectification of women, especially sex workers, is the norm.
About the Author: Artemisia de Vine is a Sex worker and Conscious Erotic Arts Practitioner based in Sydney, Australia. She specialises in erotic play sessions that allow the space to deeply explore your unique erotic wiring. She has a greedy appreciation for the full spectrum of human sexuality from the sensual to the outright kinky. As such she has two websites, one sensual and one specialising in BDSM. You can follow her on Twitter.