Sep 212014
Artemisia de vine

Artemisia de vine

I blurted this post out on facebook in the wee hours this morning.  A friend asked to forward it so here it is in sharable blog-form, all rough and raw like my heart…

Ah this familiar nut. How to gently guide new lovers into ways of being that are not modelled after male-arousal-system-centric porn? How to gently let them know that my arousal system just doesn’t work that way and that what they’ve been taught by example their whole life is only half the picture. That they are actually going to have to change from the base assumption up before they become the extraordinary lover I know they can be… Before my needs can truly be met… before their potential pleasure can be significantly and dramatically expanded too…

As a Conscious Sexuality practitioner and Escort I can guide them. They expect it. They seek me out precisely because I will lead them into lived experiences of engaging with their sexuality… and mine… from a much richer place. A place that truly gets female-bodied arousal and taps into far more of their own.

But how to gently guide a personal lover without falling into teacher/work mode and without crushing their ego? Afterall it’s not their fault. The information just hasn’t been available for them to learn in most cases! They are not selfish. They are glorious sexual beings following their delicious intuition and what they’ve been exposed to. Most of them are very eager to please me!

It is just that our whole culture hasn’t even had a language for the kind of sex that fulfils me. Female-bodied folk haven’t even known it about ourselves to ask for it! It’s been cruelly invisible and tucked away in the wordless places on a collective cultural level… Only catching glimpses of it but not truly, intentionally letting it pour on out in the gushing, rushing wonder that is possible.

The female-bodied arousal sexual model that really harnesses our full potential is new for us all. As is embodied mindful sexuality in general. Holistically connected sexuality… conscious sexuality…

It is just not as easy as asking new lovers for certain acts to be done a certain way. The whole damn sexual ideology has to shift in its foundations.

I know how to get there. I cannot be satisfied by the old sexual paradigm anymore. I have to guide my lovers there… but back to the old nut… working out how to show them without ruining everything… It is particularly tricky when I crave someone who can take the lead so I can let go but they are intimidated by my knowledge.

It is such a tricky fix.   Perhaps I am supposed to know the answer already but I don’t.  This unknowing gives me empathy for my lovers and their unknowing.

Artemisia profile pic 2014About the Author: Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based escort and conscious erotic arts practitioner who offers sessions that are a mixture of learning, playing and exploring sexuality.  She has two websites, one for those more enticed by the sensual end of the spectrum and one for those more wired to explore kink and BDSM.  You can join her mailing list or follow her on Twitter.

Feb 232014


Artemisia de Vine EM Prof logoHi, my name is Artemisia de Vine and I am a professional dominatrix, switch and domestic discipline spankee.   I also offer top shelf, exquisitely sensual, erotic massages and other types of intimate erotic sessions including conscious sexuality sessions.

This sometimes confuses people.  Those that want to be held and nurtured fear that my kinky side negates my ability to also be sensual and loving .  Those that are wired to want a dominatrix to take full, merciless control doubt my ability to pull that off if I also offer lush sensual sessions.

Sex and/or BDSM are not merely a set of acts but are rather a place we go inside ourselves and a journey into erotic consciousness we share together. 

Here’s the thing.  All of the above sessions are aiming to get to the same place.  In all the above scenarios we are aiming to build tension and then let go and fully open to our erotic experience…  To enter into that illusive but divine state of being that allows the “talking mind” to stop chattering… to be fully in the moment… embodied… exquisite surrender… washed over with sensations…

More important than any act performed, it’s a place within us we really crave to enter.  It’s primarily a state of consciousness.  Everything else is just a means to get us there.

This is one of the main reasons I chose to call myself a Conscious Erotic Arts Practitioner.  While the kinds of sessions I offer are broad, they all have one thing in common.

I am a specialist in Erotic States of Consciousness. 

We are all aiming for that mystical magical place within us whether we are aware of it or not.  Really at the heart of it we are searching for more than the physical release of an orgasm.  The truly mind-blowing erotic experiences include our whole being… mind, body, heart and that illusive thing many call soul…  They are mind blowing because of the state of consciousness our minds and bodies enter into.

However, each of us is wired uniquely so each person is going to need to explore a different way of getting there.   What interests me is working out the puzzle each client presents.  I thrive on working out what is going to be the best kind of play for them at this particular point in time.

For some it is an overty sexual or “horny” feeling and for others it is primarily about power play and release.  All of it falls under the category of eroticism to me as I use eroticism to mean “eros”… the creative life force that pumps through our veins and motivates us in all sorts of conscious and not so conscious ways.   The point is, each person is unique in how they access this within themselves.


Erotic play and meditation have a lot in common. 

Recently science has caught up with knowledge us kinksters have known for ages.  Kink is the new yoga.  It has all the benefits of meditating and exercising.  Kinksters often report feeling calm and blissful after play like their system has been re-booted.  They often report insights into themselves and a feeling of connectedness with themselves and others.

However, it is not just kink that can have that effect on us… It’s not just pain or power play… it’s sensual pleasure too… Tantra practitioners, Taoists and various other erotic esoteric traditions have been pointing to the potential sexuality has to access profound states of being for thousands of years.

Most of us stumble across the amazing potential sexuality has to access profound and sometimes life altering states of consciousness at some point.  Or we at least touch on it… and have a sense there is something more if only we could just get the right set of circumstances together…  Maybe we think we need to be in limerence (that fresh new honey moon in-loveness) in order to access it… Perhaps we are waiting for the right lover…

The truth is, while having a lover who is on the same page as you really helps, there are skills we can learn within ourselves that make the likelihood of reaching these ecstatic, erotic states far more likely, far more often, whether we are in a romantic relationship or not.   We really don’t need to rely on the temporary high of being newly in love to access this delicious and precious part of ourselves.


The conscious erotic arts are about intentionally cultivating these states of being within ourselves. 

The more aware we are about our own unique erotic wiring… the more we develop a deeper relationship with our inner workings… the more conscious we are about it… the further we can go into each experience.

This is not something I can do to someone any more than a tango teacher can do the tango to someone.  It is something that can be cultivated however. It also helps considerably to have an experienced play partner whose intention is to create all the right circumstances to enhance potential erotic states of being and experience.   It also helps to learn the steps from someone who has danced them many times…  Again like the experienced tango teacher…

My role is to guide people into the skills needed to cultivate this way of approaching our eroticism be it kinky or sensual.  My sessions include consultations to help each person work out their unique wiring.  Together we design a series of play sessions that allow that person to explore their holistic erotic potential in a way that compliments their individual journey.

For some that may be receiving a series of lush full being erotic massages that allow them to just lie back and receive while practicing the techniques I’ve taught them… to enter deeper erotic states of consciousness…  to let go, surrender the ego and soar…

For others this may be an intense power exchange session where I am a sadistic bitch from hell and they have no choice but to surrender to the moment…  sometimes this leads to state of consciousness kinksters call “subspace” where the sense of time passing is distorted as each moment becomes an eternity yet nothing at the same time… where the ego lets go… the chattering mind ceases.. often accompanied by ecstatic, heart opening bliss…

Are you seeing the common link here?  Surrender… letting go of the ego… letting a different, wiser part of ourselves take the drivers seat… A part of us that feel connected as though we are all One…

Like in meditation, the ego doesn’t like giving up the driver’s seat… it will trick us in any way it can to try to hold onto control.  Each person will need a different way of approaching their eroticism in order to flick that switch that allows them to let go.  Some need to feel super safe, held and nurtured while others like the illusion of another person in control forcing them to let go.  Sometimes we need to role play in whatever way is necessary to get something deep inside our unconscious to surrender.

When we do get to that state of being it is exquisite… for many it is a spiritual experience… utterly divine… and has all the same benefits as meditation or yoga only with the added benefit of arousal.  Can’t complain about that right!

The point is that when I take on these different roles, dominatrix, switch, spankee, sensual lover, massage practitioner… I am doing so after a thorough consultation process where we both agree to take on the role necessary to aid the person going on the erotic journey.

Does that mean that I am just acting?

Am I just pretending to be a sadistic bitch or a loving erotic nurturer or a bratty spankee?  Does that mean I am not a “real” Mistress?

No, it doesn’t.  All aspects I offer are naturally within me.  I only offer to play roles that are really part of me.  I am just really good at drawing on them at will.  Within me dwell the full spectrum of personality archetypes… in you too… it is a skill to learn how to draw on them at will and one that I am quite practiced at if I do say so myself ;)


This sounds great!  How do I learn these skills?

If you are interested in exploring how to do this, sign up to my mailing lists through the websites listed below to find out about upcoming workshops.  You may be particularly interested in my workshop on “Embracing Erotic Shadows through Role Play”.  Alternatively you can contact me to discuss a personalised series of sessions that allow you to explore you unique wiring.   One of sessions give you a good test taste of this potential but it really is a journey so those that opt to invest in their erotic self discovery and personal sexual development benefit most from a series of sessions.

Despite the common thread between all my sessions, those seeking sensual conscious sexuality and erotic massage sessions prefer not to be exposed to my darker kinky personalities… and vise versa.  To respect that, I have two different websites.  One is for those who wish to explore Conscious Kink and the other is for those who want to explore the more Sensual Conscious Erotic Arts.

However I personally don’t see a conflict.  Both sites represent the real me. I am  following my natural inclinations.  This  sometimes means engaging sensually and intimately and sometimes means explore my perverse power play lust… or sometimes just playing spanking games for the fun of it.  It’s all me.  When playing with another I search for the place where we naturally overlap and create a session within that space.

Dec 162013


temptPleased to announce my upcoming workshops at the Celebrating Sexuality Conference  just outside Melbourne in Feb 14-16.  It is a two-hour introduction to my more in-depth 2 day workshop on this topic.   If you are interested in attending the more extensive version of this or other workshops, be sure to join my mailing list to find out when they are being held.

Artemisia de Vine Goddess of Conscious Kink & the Erotic Arts presents: Embracing our Erotic Shadows through Fantasy & Role Play.

Professional dominatrix, switch & practitioner of the conscious erotic arts, Artemisia brings her expertise and passion for entering into the deeper realms of kink play to life in this workshop.

In this workshop, Artemisia introduces the idea of consciously using role play to engage our vulnerable, hidden, erotic shadows and “forbidden” sexuality in a way that benefits ourselves and our loved ones and allows us to form a deeper, more aware relationship with our shadow selves. She guides you through fun but potent exercises and provides practical tools for creating role play scenes and rituals. There is no nudity and you do not have to share your personal erotic fantasies. Engage in the practical exercises only to whatever level you choose to.

Fantasies often get a bad rap amongst tantra circles as something that takes us away from being fully present and embodied with ourselves and our lovers. Sexual fantasies are toted as acceptable in popular culture but very rarely is their potential to access healing, personal growth and spirituality ever talked about or explored. Often our sexual fantasies are different to our lovers and it can be quite scary to share them. We quite often don’t want to admit we have them ourselves because the nature of fantasy is that of strange dream-like desires, images and urges that drift up from our unconscious mind only when we are aroused. In fantasy we act in ways towards ourselves and each other in way we may not really want to in everyday life. This can be confusing and a source of shame. Artemisia presents an accessible but powerful ways of embracing our shadow selves through fantasy, erotic role play rituals.

Artemisia is a professional and lifestyle kinkster, sex worker, somatic sex coach, workshop facilitator, public speaker, blogger and aspiring author. Trained in sexological bodywork, various forms of neo-tantra, lomi lomi bodywork, BDSM and draws on various esoteric erotic traditions. Her whole life is dedicated to passionately exploring and sharing the erotic arts in aware and delicious ways.

Should you enjoy this introductory workshop and want to explore deeper, Artemisia offers more in-depth one-on-one sessions and lessons and a far more in-depth 2 day workshop on this topic.  Join her mailing list to hear about upcoming opportunities and browse her Conscious Erotic Arts and Conscious Kink websites for current offerings.

Sep 012013

Artemisia glamHe flirted with me as he boxed up the pots of herbs I selected. I found myself smiling and feeling special. It was lovely!

There is a real art to non sleazy flirting and this guy had it down pat. I found myself relaxing and enjoying his company. I wasn’t particularly attracted to him but it still felt great. If being attracted or not, is not the reason for the absence of sleaze, what is? It got me to thinking why someone else doing almost the same thing would feel slimy to me. What is the difference?

What makes the key difference to me is that there was no unconscious neediness coming from him… he wasn’t possessed by what he needed from me sexually… he wasn’t blind to how his sexual need was effecting me… he could actually *see* me. He was aware of how I was feeling and watching how I was reacting to his words… He was paying attention to me and the intent behind his words was to make me feel good. He wasn’t unconsciously taking… he was consciously giving… He wasn’t unconsciously trying to have power over me sexually… he was giving me honor.

One doesn’t need to learn the trickery of pick up artists to make genuine connections… or attract lovers or partners… or even one night stands or flings… One needs to tune in and be aware of one’s own motives… and take the time to see… really see, and be aware of how our words and actions are affecting the person we are approaching. Not just see, but care. Good old empathy. Having our potential lover’s well being at heart really makes a difference.

Being successful in the dating world isn’t centred around being the best looking person… the richest… We’ve all seen plenty of examples of folks who aren’t considered conventionally attractive or wealthy being very successful with dating. Many try to mimic these successful daters and work out their “play” when in reality, all they need to do is be real, be self-aware and learn to feel empathy towards the person they are flirting with… actually be present with the person they are flirting with… Yes we do sometimes need to learn how to do this but it’s a path of self-development and self-awareness, not tricks, learned formulas and manipulations. – Artemisia de Vine

Aug 272013

Artemisia glamI am guiding a client to “last longer” today. That really means showing him techniques to have more choice about when he ejaculates and putting them into practice together through erotic massage. How do you learn the tango? You dance the tango with a tango teacher until you have muscle memory of your own.

One of my favorite things about this is that not only does he get practical skills he can use for the rest of his life, in the process he also gets a deeper relationship with his own body and sexuality.  Lasting longer isn’t about disconnecting from the pleasurable feelings and thinking about the “shopping”.  On the contrary, you can’t learn ejaculation choice without tuning into ones own body, including all the sexy, yumminess.  The effect of this is to not only have more choice around ejaculation but to access a more fulfilling sexuality in general.

See more here…

Jun 222013

Artemisia glamI sit all my clients down on the couch for a chat before we begin a conscious sexuality session of any kind be it an escort, erotic massage, erotic ritual, kinky session or a lesson in deeper pleasure. I say, “Tell me why you are here. What do you *really* want to experience? You were drawn to have a session with me because… Why? What are you hoping will happen? If you were to leave here saying “Wow! That was a fantastic session I really had an amazing experience!” what would have happened to make you feel that way?”

They don’t just describe the physical activities they hope for or the parts of my body they are attracted to… We get into a discussion that allows them to explore what they *really* want deep inside. We then discuss where I am willing and able to meet them and where I can’t. We set boundaries, create safe space where we both agree to explore and the session begins from a conscious place.

This makes the session a lot more satisfying for both of us. It shifts it from being a routine experience to something more real and potent. We get to actually engage as holistic sexual beings not just bodies. – Artemisia de Vine