Sep 132014
 
Artemisia de Vine

Artemisia de Vine

You can tell so much about a person’s maturity-levels and intentions by how they hit on you. I have a rule I follow for both personal dates and for assessing potential clients.

If someone only references my appearance when giving compliments then I don’t let it go any further. It doesn’t matter how polite, charming and flattering they are when they express their attraction to my body type, if that is the only part of me they have noticed then… Bo-bawww… No thanks.

It is fine to be attracted to my appearance and to say so but to get past the guardians at my gate, a potential lover has to notice the person inside the body and demonstrate this in some way. Not rocket science and yet disturbingly, so few get this.

Keep in mind that most people approach me online so have access to a detailed dating profile or work website. There is plenty to notice other than/ as well as my body. Even those that approach me in person need to show interest in more than my appearance before I will take any notice.

By applying this same rule to clients, only accepting those that reference something about my philosophy about sex and/or BDSM, or who show self-awareness and a desire to explore themselves, I have ended up with a healthy throng of regulars I feel good about exploring with and a bunch of satisfying one-off bookings too. It is an essential part of my self-care process in a culture that just assumes objectification of women, especially sex workers, is the norm.

About the Author:   Artemisia de Vine is a Sex worker and Conscious Erotic Arts Practitioner based in Sydney, Australia.  She specialises in erotic play sessions that allow the space to deeply explore your unique erotic wiring.  She has a greedy appreciation for the full spectrum of human sexuality from the sensual to the outright kinky.  As such she  has two websites, one sensual and one specialising in BDSM.  You can follow her on Twitter.

Nov 142013
 

FanAs a whore, I don’t want to be treated as a pretty pet to pass the time with.  I choose to be seen as the skilled practitioner in her sexual power and beauty who is capable of taking clients on erotic journeys and experiences into themselves… giving them a chance to feel what it is like to be with a sexually empowered and embodied woman.

Many whores I know are fiercely fabulous, self-aware, connected sexual beings.   The thing is, we are so limited in where we can advertise and get our message out there…  The brothels and the adult services directories frame sex work in a way that is counter to the above implying we are there to simply physical vessels to pleasure submissively… that we are an item on the menu…  sets of physical features with polite customer service formulaic conversational styles.

I see us as more akin to tango teachers and expert dance partners… part counsellor, part companion, part playmate, part sex educator, part priestess to guide you into the erotic mysteries…  Someone with a skill to share and respect.  I see myself as a representative of the archetypal woman,  who knows how to help you explore you inner world through sexual play.

Self discovery… Play… Pleasure…Comfort…. Holistic connection with our whole beings through sexual energy… 

Some advertising sites have done a semi effective job of countering the image that we are merely physical bodies with submissive, pre-scripted phrases but they still don’t quite get it right.  It’s still a case of us having to present ourselves within a framework that assumes certain values and ways of being.   There is still internalized whorephobia and sexism coded into the framework that disadvantages clients and sexuality professionals alike.

Imagine how much would change if we re-framed that whole culture of representation.   What if we choose to think of a whore as a sexual life coach who you approach with respect because they are an expert in their field?  Or a holistic companion to engage with you on all levels?  Then perhaps you can consciously negotiate sexual power roles together… Maybe she or he is more than happy to be the sexual submissive on their knees to please and treat you like royalty… Maybe she or he prefers to be the one who takes the lead and guide you to pleasing them… Or guide you to discovering aspects of yourself you didn’t know were there… Either way is fine.  There is the world of difference in being a sexually submissive woman when that role is consciously negotiated compared to when it is just assumed that all female whores are sexually submissive and subservient.

I draw to me clients who think along those lines.  Many men truly adore women and are respectful, genuine clients who are delighted to discover what is possible down the erotic rabbit hole but the culture of industry itself  makes it hard for them too.  The way we frame sex work needs to change so we can all access juicier play.

Jun 222013
 

Artemisia glamI sit all my clients down on the couch for a chat before we begin a conscious sexuality session of any kind be it an escort, erotic massage, erotic ritual, kinky session or a lesson in deeper pleasure. I say, “Tell me why you are here. What do you *really* want to experience? You were drawn to have a session with me because… Why? What are you hoping will happen? If you were to leave here saying “Wow! That was a fantastic session I really had an amazing experience!” what would have happened to make you feel that way?”

They don’t just describe the physical activities they hope for or the parts of my body they are attracted to… We get into a discussion that allows them to explore what they *really* want deep inside. We then discuss where I am willing and able to meet them and where I can’t. We set boundaries, create safe space where we both agree to explore and the session begins from a conscious place.

This makes the session a lot more satisfying for both of us. It shifts it from being a routine experience to something more real and potent. We get to actually engage as holistic sexual beings not just bodies. – Artemisia de Vine

Mar 172013
 

FanOne can listen to music while bopping around doing the chores and feel energised and pleasurable. It’s fun, good for you and healthy. However to consciously engage with music takes it to another level again. To give each note your full attention and feel each note fill and move your body, your emotions and indeed your whole being can take you to another world. You can become one with the music. Your mind stops chattering and your ego takes a back seat… You can more deeply connect with your authenticity, embodied wisdom and personal bliss.

One can apply this same principle to the full spectrum of erotic arts: from erotic massage to sex to BDSM and much more. I specialise in sessions and workshops that focus on the techniques to more deeply engage in our sexuality. Sex is already great. To learn techniques drawn from tantra, Taoism, sexological bodywork, mindfulness and body-mind therapies to more consciously engage with it, takes it to another level again. This doesn’t just apply to the “making love” style of erotic intimacy but to all aspects of our erotic wiring including those forbidden and completely politically incorrect fantasies and consensual power play games.

Sex, like emotion, is a primal force within us that has one foot in the conscious mind and one in the subconscious. It’s not about linear logic… It speaks a different language… the language of dreams. This can be scary. We’ve all encountered people who are in an aroused state of consciousness and yet they are being unconsciously driven by it rather than consciously engaging with it and it can feel really unpleasant and invasive.

We can engage with our anger consciously or let it control us like a bush fire… same with sexuality. This doesn’t lesson the pleasure, oh no! Conscious sexuality, without a doubt, magnifies all that we hold dear about our eroticism.

When BDSM and/or sex is engaged consciously, we access our most authentic personal expression and become fully present in each moment. Remarkable experiences can happen from this place. It is different from session to session depending on intent, unique erotic wiring of participants and the mood on the day. Outcomes can be any of the following:

* An experience of deeper, whole being, erotic pleasure
* Connecting and flowing in companionship and playfulness
* Healing
* Personal transformation
* Deeper intimacy
* A journey of self discovery
* Ecstatic states of consciousness

All workshops and sessions operate from a place of consent and respect with an intent to engage even more of our erotic potential. To achieve this we need trust and healthy boundaries. For this purpose there is a free consultation before each session to establish this.

So why have I used the word “conscious” instead of “spiritual”? Even though I identify as a spiritual sexual being, I think that sometimes people are put off by the spiritual language commonly used when talking about tantra.  I certainly don’t identify with a lot of the meaning placed on tantric experience by others. However I have found that the techniques and experiences themselves are potent and powerful no matter your worldview. It is relevant to people who identify as non spiritual and spiritual alike. All you need is a willingness to engage more consciously and fully with your unique erotic wiring and expression. If this appeals to you then these sessions are for you.

I see my work as an outpouring of passion that has stemmed from my own personal journey. My explorations and adventures have led to many insights and discoveries that have helped me to move beyond our cultural wide sex-shame epidemic and into a mind blowing and authentic relationship with my own eroticism. This passion has manifested in professionally facilitating and engaging with other people’s explorations in this arena. Primarily this includes taking one on one sessions as a Dominatrix (and occasional switch), Erotic bodyworker (massage), Somatic sex educator and Erotic ritualist. I also occasionally offer sessions as an Erotic Companion (private escort).

 For those interested in the conscious exploration of kink and BDSM, please see my other site, Conscious Kink, here.